Today's post is different its something fully raw, stripped down, and for all eyes to bare witness to. I post personal tidbits into my life constantly. But it's how I cope with personal problems. This post is different because it's dealing with a side of me that I can't seem to shake and it leaves me in an unshakable despair! That side of me is the depression side…and I need to let others know.
I've dealt with depression ever since I hit middle school. The classes were different, my friends I had known for years had taken on new friends, and the love for one another had gone to the opposite sex. I was alone, afraid, confused…what is going on in my life, where had my happiness gone to! Everything I once new had changed and I was left their to repair my broken heart.
To this very day I can't seem to shake that inevitable feeling of being alone and every so often I get into a stage of depression that can last for days maybe even weeks. All through school and college it lasted months! I've come a long ways since then. I'm not always sad but I have brief periods in my life that leave me in a state of sadness, sometimes even for no reason at all. Sometimes my mom will notice that I'm talking less, I'm less of that crazy girl she once knew. No "I'm snappy"(in her words not mine), I'm mean, and don't want to be bothered.
"I don't like this side of me so I try to reel myself out of it by producing over forced smiles when someone talks to me but instead that side becomes even more prominent as the day goes by."
I lock myself in my room hidden away from the world. I sleep for hours on in wanting to forget the feeling. In my mind the world is full of vultures waiting to tear me to treads! If I have to go out, I don't look people in their eye. I would have what you call a "B"...you know what face! I hated the every being of a person and even get irritated by the slightest annoyance even from a baby. I know people with this type of depression knows what I'm talking about.
"I'm less of myself, I become someone that hates life and that scares me"
It's hard to shake it but I try to remember the words from my blog posts, yes even I need encouragement from my own blog. See this blog isn't just for you it's for me as well I need this in my life for my own sanity. I'm so grateful that I can help not just you but myself whenever I write these post, especially the personal post!
"Even now my tears of sadness have dried up a smile is trying to peek out from hiding!"
So moving on I wanted to write this post for the millions of people who don't suffer with depression but have people in their life that suffer with it. I've read tons of blogs about suffering from depression but not how non-depressed people have to suffer. Dealing with the depressed persons anger, sadness, and isolation can be hard as much as it is for us dealing with depression. I try to stay away from my mom during this period because I know the brunt of my frustration will be on her..."I'm sorry."
"Remember this is the depression talking not them"
When I do come out of my hole of suffering my mom would say that she was worried for me, she hates the thought that her little baby girl is so emotionally wrecked! You may feel like you don't know how to help so you stay away letting them hurt on their own. For me this is good sometimes because I don't like to talk about everything that goes on in my head(I can only tell God) but sometimes a simple gesture of "I love you" and "I'm here for you" can make the rain in their life seem a little bit less heavy.
Here are some tips for coping with the mentally unstable
(because let's be honest that's exactly how it feels)
1.Don't keep asking them what's wrong. It can go from caring to annoyed caring real quick. Trust me they will lash out. If we wanted to tell you we will...it just takes some time. Let us take our time and get through our emotions first. When we are that depressed we are trying to figure ourselves out…
2.Don't get angry with us when we don't seem like our normal selves. This will only make us hide more away from you and that can make us even more down in the slumps. It's hard to get back up sometimes when your depressed.
3.But don't leave us alone too much. We are already feeling alone why do the same to us even more so. My mom has the tendency to leave me alone as I sleep my life away thinking it would get better but it doesn't help, it makes me think I don't matter. That can lead to suicidal thoughts…
4.Sometimes we are calling out for help! Hiding from the problem will only make it worse. If you see signs of us slowly getting deeper and deeper unlike our natural selves it's time to seek help sometimes in our roughest times we need that extra push, we may seem mad at you for seeking help but eventually we will crack! Seeking a counselor, psychiatrists, pastor or even a person that you know would help them( possibly someone who has been through the same thing) can make a world of a difference.
5. Patience is the key to growth! This is your way of supporting us and letting us know that even though we are suffering you will never leave us. With depression it can reoccur at different stages in our lives. We may seem happy one day and the next a complete wreck. By being their for us in understanding will give us H.O.P.E to continue on.
Remember you are not to be blamed
and you can't fix their depression only they can you are just giving them options!
So after such a long post I hope you've learned a few new things about the depressed mind it's not that we want to be like this, we just don't know how to cope as well as you do. But in all if you find that things just are not getting any better don't wait till something tragic happens to help them. Don't brush it under a rug till a brighter day comes? Help them now they are calling out for you.
For those suffering with depression remember...
For More resources on helping others cope with depression:
( I'm no psychiatrist only a person who deals with it)
In the Comments
Have you ever dealt with depression, can you relate to what I feel?
Do you know someone that deals with depression, how have you helped them cope...Will these tips help you?