When I was younger I always considered myself this invisible person that no one wanted to talk to, that no one wanted to hang with, and that no one thought was good enough. I've learned over time I was wrong. Although I had days where I felt invisible, that I was simply a speck of dust in a room full of extroverted personalities, through it all I had people that would come up to me and say hi. Some would sit down at the lunch table and talk to me even if it was for a brief moment. People didn't realize the many times I hid in the bathroom waiting for school to start or in the gym where that locked door seemed to always open up for me and only me. Those many times at lunch where I would sneak out to go in the bathroom and wait for lunch to be over to finally being able to ask the assigned teacher for a pass to go to the library that's where I found my love of books.
There is a lot of things I wish I knew in middle school and high school like I stated in this post but through it all I've learned great lessons and met amazing people. They may not be in my life anymore but I'm truly grateful that they saw me at my best and even at my not so best.
This isn't a post to make anyone feel down or feel sorry for my past. I can look back and laugh at how freaking shy I was! However, it is a post to uplift and see how the other half live, the shy, the loner, the person that "looks" unapproachable . That's the best opportunity to be a light in there darkness. When you see someone alone go up to them and show kindness even with a simple smile, remember the Butterfly Effect click here!
To the girls that saw me crying at my locker because I bombed my public speaking discussions. When you saw me and ask if I was alright and said that they hope I feel better, it really made me feel better. To the lovely girls that made me feel better after such a terrible moment that truly brought happiness to my day.
To the guys that would always make me smile just by saying hi or giving me a high five in class you'll never know how that made me feel. Even though I was an awkward mess.
To the young fashionista in the making that always came over and talked to me or would stop me in my footsteps to compliment my outfit. Or those times where you would see me standing by myself waiting for the bus to come and you came up and talked to me that made my day.
To the bestest friend I ever had from elementary to high school I truly appreciated the random burst of laughter we had, the long phone calls, the jokes and memories of past time that only we could laugh at. That was the best times of my life. As we've moved on and now have new and different friends that friendship, for me, will always be cherished. I hope to have a friendship like that one day again.
To the shy girls that was just like me that made me feel like I wasn't alone. It felt really good laughing about things only introverts knew. Somehow I was always the most comfortable with you girls.
To the whole senior class of 2009 that made me feel Visible even just for a day. When I won best dressed that made my day, no it made my entire years of going to high school worth it. My goal when I got in high school was to not be labeled just the shy girl but something more than that even if that meant it be through my fashion then so be it! That's where my love of fashion blossomed! I WANTED YOU TO SEE ME AS ME! Finally you did and it meant the world to me. I'll never forget that day especially since that entire year I had been depressed and I wanted school to just be over. I never felt more Seen in all my years of living until that very day.
So I don't know if this is an embarrassing post or not but I had to get that off my chest because I had to remind myself that I'm not invisible. That I have a voice no matter how little and soft spoken it is. When I finally started my blog I felt invisible but that first comment, that first tweet, that first view made me feel important. Something I had struggled with for so long. So I want to say thank you to all my friends on my blog. You guys aren't another page view to me and you are not another follower or subscriber you are truly my friends and you make me feel visible every single day. Thank you:)
If you are ever struggling to find yourself in this big world remember you are not invisible someone sees you. Even though you may see yourself as a wall flower, do you know that that one flower all by itself is something magical just waiting to blossom.
Have anyone in your life ever made you feel less invisible...tell the story below!