Silent Suffering: How to know When Someone is Depressed and What to do about it!

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Warning
This is seriously one of the most depressing article I've ever wrote and for that I'm really sorry but I really feel the need to get this off my chest. Maybe others can relate, maybe you know someone who deals with depression. Whatever the case may be I'm writing this to help not only me but others too!!!

A person who is depressed is not going to come out and say they are depressed...they just won't!



The Real Me...
I'm depressed but will I say it out loud...no! Sure I can write it out for the whole world to see(or just a few) but Its hard for me to actually say it out loud. I don't want to be marked as the depressed girl. That's not who I am...Its just a part of me.  I've been depressed for over 3 months maybe more but will anyone really know...no. I had a phone call from a friend one day and I wasn't giving them the upbeat attitude that I normally give them. They got annoyed and asked why I was acting weird I told them nothing they figured I was just busy. So I said I was just busy. The real reason was that prior to them calling I was balling my eyes out on the sofa. I had to muster a little bit of happiness to try to put on a brave face or a happy voice...obviously it didn't work. I know I post happy, colorful things a lot, heck I have a Happy Corner Series going on now! It's not me putting up a front its something that gets me out of my head, at least for a moment in time. It also makes others happy and that's what I want to do. I would rather makes someone else happy if I can't make myself happy at the time. This is the real me...I'm human.

To the person who is depressed...It's ok!

Yes its hard. Yes you wish it would all go away. Yes you wish that life could get better, but don't think for one second that it makes you weird. You are going through a hard time. Some people can handle it pretty well and others can't...like me. However, remember that when life gets too rough it's time to talk to someone. Whether its a family member, friend, or therapist, go to someone you feel comfortable sharing how you feel with. Most of the time it's my brother because he deals with depression as well. I don't always go to him because sometimes I feel as though I'm a burden(which every depressed person feels this way) but remember YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN! You are a human that needs to express how they feel. Don't wait until its too late to seek help.

Asking for help is the greatest sign of a healthy mind!

To the person who is around the depressed person...be kind!
I know it can be difficult to live or be around someone who is "all of a sudden" acting more "weirder" than usual. Instead of getting angry with them or cutting them off why not sit down with them and literally ask them if they are ok, but, in a kind way. Tell them that you noticed they haven't been themselves. Tell them you are here for them whenever they need you.  Pick up the phone and call them don't wait for them to call you. Be a real friend. When someone is depressed they are in their most vulnerable stage so remember to be kind and understandable...even if you don't quite understand. Sometimes we just need a listening ear. You don't have to spew a bunch of facts and treatment possibilities...trust me we've googled everything under the sun!

Depression cannot just be cured, but it can be treated!

5 Things People with Depression Usually Do

1. They might not “look depressed
Yep you seen social media stereotypes of the depressed...well that's not always the case. Not every person who is depressed have the same symptoms and coping skills. It's hard to tell a difference.
They can be the happiest people you can ever meet either on social media or real life but secretly their the saddest. I've been able to mask it from my family for a while now because of my work schedule. Remember those that may not keep up the façade of being happy are not weak!

Depression is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of being human.

2. They may often seem exhausted or complain about always being tired
Remember not everyone suffers from the same symptoms but exhaustion and being tired is often a sign. I can get plenty of sleep but still feel exhausted and tired. I can't tell you the many times I've said I'm "tired." I can't tell you the many times I have slept  for hours but blamed it on my 3rd shift job! In the back of my mind I just don't want to be up! It's one of the worst symptoms to cope because you feel like a lazy bum...which makes you feel even worse!

3. They can be unusually irritable
I have my days where I just don't want to be bothered! Keeping up a façade or keeping up with daily life leaves you with little energy to deal with anything else. I may snap a little too much or I don't want to talk to anyone for days. In the same retrospect they have a hard time dealing with affection from others. The only emotions they can feel is sadness and irritability.

4. They are acting more "Reckless"
If they are doing things that you normally don't see them doing such as drinking, smoking and other reckless activities that is another symptom to pay attention too. However, this can also be hidden from others as well so its often hard to distinguish!

5. They can have bad days, and “better” days
There are good days and bad days. Not saying those good days are awesome but we may not cry as often. We may smile a little more but in the back of our minds we can still feel that depression looming over us like a rainy cloud(you seen those commercials)! Just because they are happy for a day or a few days never rule out that depression. Depression isn't always consistent. It comes and it goes depending on the person.

I know this is the most depressing post ever, trust me I don't always like to post these types of articles!!! So I'm super sorry about that but hey I got plenty of other happy post for you to check out below. However I needed to get my feelings out of my own head! I may not share this with my family or friends just because I'm still not comfortable expressing how I feel exactly just yet because honestly I'm still trying  to figure it all out. I've never been through depression that lasted  over a month or longer. Usually I can bring myself out of a rut and sometimes I do especially through listening to music but I don't know why I always come back to this state of depression...it sucks! The one thing I do know is that eventually it will get better. I don't know when or how but it will :)

There is nothing weak about depression, and there is nothing wrong with people suffering from it!

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12 comments

  1. Dude, this post is not depressing...it's refreshing! It's also a GOOD sign for you personally as it shows you've got a good sense of perspective - you're recognising your depressive behaviours, which is half the battle.
    Depression is bad brain chemistry and can't always be fixed, but by learning about how it affects us, we can learn to optimise...I'm rooting for you and dm any time you need to rage, whine, spit ball or just babble.
    @thewonkeyjen on twitter x

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    1. Aww thank u so much!!!! I think by writing this post it really helped me come out a little from the depression:)

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  2. what a brilliant post and i can relate to everything that you have said. First of all,i am 100% behind you and i am always here if you need to talk. I have started meds (sertraline) 6 weeks ago after trying to fight depression on my own after being diagnosed. Alot of my friends dont contact me anymore as they think i have abandoned them. I like you have told the whole world on social media but not my BF or any of my family yet. You are an amazing young lady and thank you for writing such an amazing and inspirational post xxx

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    1. Thank you so much!! I was on medication for a while but it left me feeling like a zombie ahhh! I hope your medication works best for you! I've learned talking about it and letting someone even if it's the Internet know makes me feel a lot better and takes some of the stress off but definitely a work in progress! I hope you find friends that will love you regardless :)

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  3. this was an amazing post Jasmine i can totally relate Its like you were talking about me. Very good eye opener to others and to show others that its not that people dont want to talk sometimes they just need you to be there.

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    1. Aww sometime we need that extra person out there that can relate to what we are going through! From reading all of your comments it makes me feel less alone and one with a state of mind that is so perplexed!

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  4. People definitely need to hear this! Depression is often misunderstood, so thank you for sharing this!!

    Adi xx
    www.fancycorrectitude.com

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    1. Thank you!!! Depression is so complexed and different for so many! More people need to know more about it :)

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  5. Thank you for sharing! xx

    www.moorehisstyle.com

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  6. Depression isn't easy and trust me i know ive been throught it myself and i wont tell you all that crap of how youll get throught it bla bla because it takes time it just doesnt dissappear whenever we want it to. So all im going to tell you is do not give up because you're worth it :)

    Kim.
    Welovelifestyle01.wix.com/welovelifestyle

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  7. Depression isn't easy and trust me i know ive been throught it myself and i wont tell you all that crap of how youll get throught it bla bla because it takes time it just doesnt dissappear whenever we want it to. So all im going to tell you is do not give up because you're worth it :)

    Kim.
    Welovelifestyle01.wix.com/welovelifestyle

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  8. Hey Jasmine I hope you are doing okay now. It's actually really brave of you to post this and you seem to be handling your situation well. *sending lots of virtual hugs over*

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