8 Ways to Find Yourself and Stop Caring about what others Think!
Raise your hand if you are someone who cares what people think!
Ok, Raise your other hand if you are tired of giving a crap what others think!
I know, I know I have both hands up too!
From parents, friendships, co-workers, bosses, to relationships in general we all have the tendency to expect so much out of other people. Whether its validation or assurance for doing a good job or doing something right. We all want to be reassured that we are up to par with life! What we fail to realize is that people are not the ones that need to be telling you how to live your life, how to behave, or how to act...it all comes from yourself.
I've always been the type that needed reassurance for everything. I craved it! Compliments, people telling you, "you are doing a good job" it all gives you a euphoric moment. We become addicted to those moments and when it gets snatched away from us we are left feeling unloved, unwanted, and unneeded. When you start to feel this way you need to recognize this as a sign that you are not self-assured in your ownself. If you think you are confident because other people are telling you wonderful things but when they don't compliment you, you feel devalued...that means you are not self assured. You care way to much about what people think! This past couple of month I went down a bad spiral of wanting, no needing, to be assured by others rather than myself. I didn't realize that until the other day when I was watching a Joel Osteen episode. It's like a light bulb came on over my head. Who are people to give me what I already have? Confidence in my own self! Its a work in progress but here's a couple of things I'll be working on. If you feel like me why not try them out as well!
Wake up with a Praise on your Lips!
It's time to start pepping yourself back up! Look in the mirror and tell yourself how gorgeous you are! Tell yourself that you are able to do everything you set your mind to today! You are more than capable and you have all of the assurance you need right inside of you! I know it will be hard. You may not be able to look yourself in the mirror and say it the first couple of times doing it but trust it will work in the long run!
Remember the 80/20 Rule!
Remember that people can only give you 80% of what you want, the other 20% they will fall short!
This is much needed especially in relationships! No one can give 100% of your needs and especially not 24/7! Stop relying on them for everything. You don't need a man or woman to tell you that you are gorgeous! Know your worth within yourself!
Now, I'm a bit of an over-thinker I'll be honest! This is something I'm working on especially through my meditation practice I've started (btw you can read about my fave beginner friendly app to meditation here). When you find yourself over analyzing a situation 9 times out of 10 other people are not thinking what you are thinking! I want to go far as to saying 10 out of 10 people are not thinking what you are thinking! People are not your teachers, they do not have the right to grade you on anything!
Get rid of the self-microscope!
People who think way to much tend to put issues under a microscope and analyze every little thing(raises hand). Stop looking in every nook and cranny for flaws, instead, check the bigger picture. Think of it like this...Are you going to live your life allowing other people's thoughts to dictate your own, Sounds a bit silly right(yes Ma'am)
Stop worrying about if you fail...Just do it! When I quit nursing school I felt like such a failure and this has really messed my mind up, so, this is something I'm trying to do now! We have to get pass old failures, future failures... and just do it! Start thinking, "How will I succeed?" Now that's empowering!
Learn to Control those emotions!
Pushing the limits and getting outside of your comfort zone will undoubtedly mess with your emotions...its natural. However, by becoming self aware of what your emotions are telling you it will help get them under control. Whatever you are feeling right now be aware of that. If you are able to observe it within your mind...this is not apart of you. The emotion that you are feeling isn't what you are. Imagine the doubt, worry, judgement, fear, etc. disappearing. When you acknowledge an emotion and observe it, you can begin to separate this emotion from yourself. Fear, stress, and worry is not apart of you, its only a feeling that you can purposely make go away.
Be Confident In Yourself!
The hardest thing to possibly do! However, we have confidence stored away and every now and again it does come out. Now what we need to do is make it come out and stay out for good! I noticed I've been doing it subconsciously through fashion and makeup! My style has progressively changed over the years. I went from being a tomboy with really low self esteem to being a fashion maven in my highschool although with still low self esteem however not as bad! As time has progressed fashion has been an amazing way for me to come out of my comfort zone and become confident in myself. You can see that in my last blog post on How to Add Color into your Wardrobe! My next step to fully being confident is too take that fashion confidence and turn it into work confidence, into relationship confidence, into taking chances, exploring new things, and being unfearful in pursuits of my passion. You have to take chances to fully begin to know that you are capable of doing anything and everything you put your mind too without the care of what someone thinks!
Accept yourself...You are Wonderful!
Everyone in the entire world will have some form of doubt in their life. However its how those confident, don't give a crap, people manage it that is so bad a$$! Accept the things you can't change and change the things that you can change. If you have something you need to work on why not change it. Knowing that you are capable of doing it will give you the confidence in and of itself! As time goes on, the things that you are worrying about really isn't that big of a deal. Once you realize that, life gets easier.
What is your tips for not worrying about what others think of you?
What to read next
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